Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros - Home (JVTP)

I wish my life was like this very road trip. I love everything from the hot hot heat, the beat-up airstream, the old silky nightgowns worn as dresses, ripe red parasols, and most of all the sun setting - all of it makes me die a little, really, I do . . . This song has been heard SO much (true story), but guess what? I love it! It is an anthem, a reminder, a transformation and a lil dream, and I love it - unabashedly, love it. With that, please enjoy, and hopefully some day you will say, "wow, (sar) you really are living like that movie, like life actually might just be - cinema" . . . xx

Me: a few moons ago . . . Still true. Again: Argh

The following words hail from my journal. They are newly found, post heartbreak, after hope left the room, and yet still they speak to me. I must follow my own lead from time to time . . . Maybe you'll like? Nevertheless, here's where I try to to harness hope, more like strangle it . . .

Learning French may help,
breathing will help too.
Not inventing dragons is really good, same as
not being too hopeful nor too pessimistic.
Getting a new haircut is fun also:
(recall Frenchie friend Jean Paul's proverb: "new haircut, new lover") - I hope so.
Corresponding genuinely with those you love - that's good - real good.
Be a lady, you're an alight version - try more.
And remember - you are the boss of you. He didn't even pay rent.

try try try try try try and maybe cut cut too?

xxoo

Duldroms: Volume 1

* Gargling with salt water will kill the bacteria. The best way to treat a sore throat is to gargle with warm salt water 6-8 times a day.

* Of course, the best solution is to eliminate the cause instead of treating the symptoms. Eating half a leaf of fresh sage, combined with 1/8 teaspoon of turmeric, will greatly reduce the drainage and congestion. This works at least as well as the pharmaceutical medications (and without their side-effects).

* You should make your body alkaline to boost its uptake of oxygen. Drinking homemade lemonade with a pinch of baking soda periodically is a fast, safe, and effective way of doing this. Lemon juice is an acid, but it makes the body more alkaline because of the way it gets processed. The baking soda will add buffering bicarbonates to make the body resistive to becoming acidic again, which is the normal state during sickness. None of these things will provide immediate relief for the throat pain. That requires time.

Eat some lettuce; it helps the pain a lot.

This was from last week, it's old, like my gross hacking. but I love the photo too much not to post. And I love Canada, where lettuce lass is from.

xoxo hack cough sniffle ughhhhhhhhh

Saddest Day Yet

Tonight will be the loneliest night ever. My main man, my Gris Gris, is not going to accompany me to bed. To use the word sad, is just, well, sad. Why can't I find a better word to adequately describe what it is I am feeling? Today i sat in a sterile office, with the love of my life, attempting to comfort him while the outside world carried on. Shame them, yes. We sat and snuggled, for a long while. His right arm got fixed to a little IV that was to later be used to administer a lethal feline injection. My heart broke and does still. Truth be told, I write because I don't want to make this bed, one without me, one with sheets that need laundering due to his late in life bladder, and also, because I don't like white sheets, I like the turquoise ones we used, for OUR bed. I do not know how I'll get through this. Period.

I have yet to "get rid of" his box, or clean up his many food options or sweep up the lingering and plentiful Gris Gris influenced dust bunnies. This weekend will be the kind of apartment cleaning that gets a bit too deep.

Where do I go today, the next day, Friday? I did not go to work, and slept on the couch, not my bed until almost 2 o'clock. It's as if my loneliness weren't evident in other areas of my life, the one constant companion who gave me truly unconditional love, has gone. I rescued Gris almost 7 years ago, and he rescued me right back each day. I hope he knows that true be the truth.

Dear Adam,

I think of you far more than I ever correspond with you. A shame indeed. My heartfelt apologies. Every time I step upon that darn treadmill, it's your heart rate I wonder about, you hitting the target? Me too . . . 152 they say. I nail it! This is a simple note to remind you that heartbeats are vital. I so look forward to our next walk on West Cliff. In the meantime, be good to yourself and I will try to channel all of your inspirational words and do the same.

Dear Writing,

Please come and pick me up and carry me away and save my life. This ship is sinking and I need to become a prolific pirate if I'm ever to reach the island.

S.O.S

YURTY THIRTY!

As of this Monday, yours truly will finally be a grown up. Or so I hope. I told my Dad, however, the day that I turned thirteen that I was a "real woman." He chuckled and then agreed whole heartedly, and continues to remind me of my profound telling on that day . . . I wonder, though, when it will ever ring true. Sometimes when I get carded buying a bottle of wine, I pause and quiver thinking "holy hell, I'm like 17," before I realize that I'm of age, and far beyond. Often I still feel like that little girl in high school who marched to the beat of her own tambourine sometimes, but got swept away by the currents of the changing tides of popularity. Since high school, the ebbing and flowing has taken on a new wave, nevertheless, my twenties were churned up with Saturn returning and me feeling sucked down and out by the undertow. And so now, almost thirty, will these troubled waters float me to a more steady and calm shore? I don't know, but I feel the current now and it feels great. Warm like the waters of Sayulita that just caresses my skin and soothing like the hot mineral bath that welcomed and released me with not a pruned finger to speak of. These waters, the kind I imbibe, swim in and cry, have proven to change recently, a shifting tide indeed. I hope the cold waters of Big Sur help shock me into this new third decade of mine where I may finally be able to say with truth and pride that I am a real woman, a real version of me.

Big Sur Love!